When I first received that email from the school, never did I think I'd be able to experience the things I have, travel the places I have and along the way, met some of the most amazing and interesting people. Of course this all could have gone very differently, not just through out of fear of exploring outside the bounds of Korat, but also if I didn't actually pluck up the courage and came to Thailand in the first place. When I initially decided I wanted to start my career in teaching English in Thailand, I ideally wanted to stay in Bangkok as that's where I felt most opportunities presented itself. Honestly, when I found out I'd been placed in Korat my heart sank a little as to me I felt it was so far from Bangkok that there wouldn't be a lot of ways to get there. Furthermore, when my agency stated that the level of English there was poor, this further discouraged me. However if you know me, I do believe everything happens for a reason and after the lightbulb moment of "Why are you second guessing this Matt?!", I never looked back. Now, when I applied for a teaching position with my agency, I ideally wanted to work with Primary aged children. But due to my work experience at summer camp, I was placed with Secondary 2 and 3. Despite the initial disappointment, I was ready for the challenge and looking back on it now, I did enjoy it. Yes, my throat constantly hurt and yes, most of my kids were lazy or naughty...but a) it could have been much worse and b) there were some hilarious and wonderful moments during my time teaching them. One moment that will always stick with me teaching that age group happened at the end of the school year last year (March); it was my final class with my Secondary 3/1 class, an amazing class who were always willing to learn and their standard of English was to a much higher standard than any other classes I taught. At the end of the lesson, I gave them all lots of sweets and thanked them all for being such a pleasure to teach. This then prompted one kid to say back to me, "Master, it wasn't your pleasure teaching us, it was OUR pleasure having you as our teacher". That moment melted my heart and cemented to me that this was the career path I was meant to embark on.
When June came around, this presented a perfect opportunity to seize the moment and ask to be moved to Primary. After 6 months of teaching Secondary, I felt a change of scenery would be good for me. Thankfully, my plea was accepted and that's when a set of whole new adventures began. Obviously, the differences between teaching Secondary and Primary are very clear. For one, I had to get out of this strict mentality and teaching style and adapt it as best as I could to teaching 6-8 year olds. My idea was to channel my inner camp counselor, be enthusiastic yet firm, but just have fun with them. Granted the first several weeks were very difficult; without having a Thai teacher to assist me, it felt like I wasn't teaching at all. I felt very deflated. But, after Master A came to assist me, my classes have been wonderful and I've barely ever had to feel the need to vent my frustrations or problems with my classes which seems to be a common trait with some teachers at the school. At this moment in time, I am LOVING teaching the age group I do. These kids bring me such joy and never fail to make me smile every single day, even if its just a hello, or a hand shake, or a hug; knowing that they're are excited to see me and portray that they enjoy my classes (haha), that's all that matters to me. Going forward, this is the age group I want to teach in the future I really feel that I can make a bigger impact and positive influence on them. Unfortunately, by the time they reach Secondary, I feel many of the students just give up with teaching English and its an extremely difficult task to change their minds. I mean, we all remember how stubborn we were as teenagers right?
Apart from the teaching side of things, I have been extremely fortunate to travel to some amazing places and meet some just as amazing people along the way. Everyone knows about my love of Singapore, and I'm so happy I've been able to visit the city 3 times this year (and a further 3 trips are planned before the year is out). And of course, if I didn't make that spontaneous decision to go to Singapore in March, I wouldn't have met Ezzy who has not only been a great travel companion over the past few months, but a new friend who I am so grateful to have in my life. Closer to home though, I've been able to visit some great cities including Ubon Ratchathani, thanks to my friend Tay; coming to see you was an amazing experience and I was able to see parts of Thailand I wouldn't have been able to see as a regular tourist, and learn about the cultural and historical heritage of your country which is always fascinating to hear. So if you're reading this, thank you and I hope to see you very soon! Also, thanks to Kang and First, two great guys I have had the pleasure of meeting whilst living in Korat, I have been able to experience my new hometown in a different light so I thank you both for that. Hopefully before the year is out, I will be able to visit some new places both in Thailand and overseas. In a week's time, I will be travelling to Hong Kong for 4 days which I am so excited for! Then, I'll by flying down to Krabi to see yet another side to Thailand and the beautiful beaches and islands that surround that area. Finally during the Christmas break, I am hoping to visit Vietnam for a few days, and explore the capital, Hanoi, as well as Hoi An, an UNESCO world heritage site that has been mentioned to me several times now as somewhere to go visit. And as much as I have tried to get out of Korat and explore as much as possible, I have really come to like the city I'm living in. It has its own unique charm and can somehow feel like a city, but still in a weird way have a small town feel to it. The only thing I would wish for was that it was just a little closer to Bangkok.
Now, if you have been reading my blog since its inception (thank you loyal followers! haha), then you might remember that I wrote myself a letter entitled "Dear Future Me". When I wrote it, I told myself that I'd reply to it 6 months when I finished at Assumption, but now seeing I'm still here a year later, I thought that now would be a fitting time. For those of you who need a reminder of what I said in the letter, here it is:
Dear Future Me,
Well, its now coming to the end of your adventure in Thailand and I
want this experience to have been it has been everything you expected and more;
that you got to visit some outstanding places, experiences things you never
thought you would and make friends and connections that will last a lifetime.
Additionally, I anticipate that you have used this time to work on yourself
both mentally and physically and can come back to the UK (if you want to come
back that is) with a fresh outlook on life; that you can take a look in the
mirror and be happy with what you see. Most importantly, I really hope this
experience has opened your eyes to whether a career in International Education
is for you (I really hope so because I want to travel more!).
I hope you had a wonderful Xmas/New Year break and got to spend it
with incredible people in incredible places. And that your trip to Malaysia in
December worked out and the visa situation sorted itself out by then! I have a
checklist in mind which I have taken with me to Thailand and by the time this
letter is read at the end of the trip that you can tick most of them off -
riding an elephant, petting baby tigers, checking out the Bangkok Gay scene and
taking a massive selfie with your class are the top priorities!
On a more personal note, I wish that everything that seems hazy and
unsure to you at the moment has become clearer and you are happy with the
direction its going in. This may mean saying farewell to some things/people as
you leave Thailand or more positively welcoming new people and things into your
life. I really hope the relationship between a special person in your life (and
you know who you are if you're reading this too) has gone in the direction in
which you think is for the best, and after months and months of emotional
journeying(?) has brought you both to a place where you can be happy again. I
want you to finish this journey having no regrets. Everything you have gone
through on this trip has happened for a reason, even if you might think it
wasn't what you wanted. Without meaning to sound too sappy (I am writing to
myself after all), I want to say how proud I/you should be that you did this!
It may have flown by and at times you may have wanted to pack it in, but you
did it! And like I said before, I really hope this is just the beginning of an
exciting career and goal.
If you realise that this isn't for you, then I know that there is a
good reason for it. I've always gone with my gut instinct in the past and it
has never steered me wrong so far. Just enjoy the ride and look at this blog as
a wonderful way of looking back on what could be/has been a life changing
experience for you.
Finally, I want to say this: (lets hope you can read Thai by then!)
หากคุณสามารถอ่านภาษาไทยแล้วฉันจะภูมิใจ
หากคุณสามารถแปลมันฉันจะประหลาดใจ ;)
MC (Oct 2014)
As weird as this is that I'm now answering my past self, reading through this letter brought back a ton of memories and a realisation that I am not the same person as I was back in October last year. So the best way I feel I can address this letter is to, in my typical cheesy fashion, reply back, So here goes...
Although my adventures in Thailand haven't quite ended yet, I felt this was a fitting time to write a reply to this letter as it is almost one year since I/you (ok this is weird) wrote it. Thankfully like I've stated in this blog post, I have been able to see some outstanding places and gain experiences I never thought imaginable. And yes, there definitely have been people I've met along the way who I will be friends with for a very long time and I'm incredibly thankful for that.
I feel for the most part, this time has been an opportunity to work on myself both physically and mentally; there are still things to work on on the thinking side of things, but I've now got into running and find it very therapeutic...when I actually get off my lazy ass and actually decide to run haha. If looking back at myself last year, I can definitely say that I am happier with the person I've become - I was in such an emotion rut back then which I have now climbed out of. And yes, I have really discovered the joys of International Education and hope to continue my journey in Singapore if these interviews go well this month...**fingers crossed**.
My Xmas break was pretty great yes. Reigning in New Year on the beach was pretty spectacular. My trip to Malaysia didn't go quite as planned, I kind of reached breaking point then but after that trip I realised that I needed to pull myself together and move on from that crappy situation and take control of it, because nothing was going to change. However, I've been able to go on so many other trips which have been amazing. Unfortunately, the checklist I had in mind I haven't completed...I won't be riding an elephant after seeing the conditions some of those elephants are in. Again, same with baby tigers...I can only pet them if they're drugged up to their eyeballs so no thanks. But, I DID check out the Bangkok gay scene and have taken many-a-selfie with my classes so be happy I've completed those at least.
Now...moving to the personal stuff. Things did become clearer for me and through the pain and the time, it did provide clarity and I was able to slowly move on from it. I really do think the direction it went was for the best. Further to that, I'm not one to have many regrets however if there is one thing I do regret, it's being as open and true to myself here as I have been. Seems like a stupid regret I know, but it might have saved me from getting sucked in to a lot of negative vibes in my workplace and away from the drama. Sadly I learnt the hard way and realised that the best way to have an easy life (personally) in my school is not to deal with issues face to face or tell it how it is, but to rather vent about it to other people and to bitch and moan behinds people back - until it reaches a point of no return and people just have a hidden dislike for one another. Unfortunately, I've been labelled as a bitch one too many times where now I have no willpower to change that opinion and to instead focus my energy on the people that DO actually like me and most importantly, focus the energy on MYSELF and the exciting prospects I have ahead of me. Yes, like you said, 'everything you have gone through on this trip has happened for a reason, even if you think it wasn't what you wanted.' and despite the personal ups and downs this journey has had, I do agree with that statement and have to focus on the future and not on the past.
Finally, you'll be happy to know that I have realised that this IS the thing for me, and the career path I want to embark on and see where it takes me. Thailand has been wonderful, but if the opportunity presents itself, I think its time for me to move on to another place once my contract ends.
And in true foreigner style, I think I'll stick to my trusted friend, Google Translate, to do the Thai reading for me...although I can write my name in Thai which is pretty neat.
Here's to the next chapter, whatever it brings!
MC (Oct 2015)
There's so many other things I could talk about that have happened over the past year, but my memory is terrible and I want to think about the experience as a whole, which overall has been absolutely amazing and as I always say, I am so blessed to have this opportunity and I feel like I have utilised it well. Just over 5 months until my contract at Assumption finishes which means 5 more months of crazy adventures and badly-written blog posts!
Until next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment